Losing Yourself.

There was a moment today when I thought... Who am I?? and where did that just come from? Oh the woes of being a human. We so easily lose ourselves. All I need is 100 degree weather, driving the beast (my husbands awesome Z71 Tahoe that I have a really hard time driving), and an angry sub contractor for me to become monster Sarah. In my defense today was a rough day and around four o'clock I found my self: hair completely disheveled, drinking a coke?? (I hate coke.. I haven't had one in years), and screaming at another human over the phone. This is a very scary picture.

After hanging up and realizing what I had become, I felt lost. I was defending my company from a sub contractor who really got us into a terrible situation by deception. Yes that is a good bone in me, its the justice bone and the loyal bone, and I honestly wouldn't trade them. But oh to be like Jesus to channel my loyal justice into a self controlled person. I finished the work day and crawled onto my bed, lit a candle and reflected my mind flooded with scripture.

 Galatians 5: ^"13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. ^(Y)Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love ^(Z)serve one another. ¹⁴ For ^(AA)the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ^(AB)“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁵ But if you ^(AC)bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. ¹⁶ But I say, ^(AD)walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify ^(AE)the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For ^(AF)the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, ^(AG)to keep you from doing the things you want to do." - If I had been walking by the spirit would I have solved the problem with wisdom.. probably. Instead I lost it and ended up solving nothing - just hanging up the phone.

Not to mention the fruits of the spirit, love your neighbor as you love yourself, and just the character of Jesus. He was mocked, accused, slandered against, forsaken....etc. Yet he maintained his character, he was constant. He showed grace and mercy. Even to monster Sarah he is merciful. Something I love about Jesus that is so over looked is his kindness. He was so kind to the lowest of the lows, he was so kind to liars, cheaters, and prostitutes. He didn't hold his nose up and think lowly of them he considered them the same as himself, and he was kind. 

I'm thankful for grace, but I refuse to take advantage of it. Repentance, meaning to change your ways is in order as well as an apology. My prayer and hope is that I would become such a woman of the word that before I speak scripture would flood my mind, and that I would be equipped for the day, and first to seek wisdom from God. 

One Down and Forever to Go.

The Kiss that started it all....

And now almost one whole year later I am more in love with my husband than ever imagined possible. I am so excited to find out what two, three, four, five.....twenty-five years of committed love will be like.  

This year has been sweet, so sweet. Full of surprises, a small amount of tears, tons of laughter and so much love. Wes is an amazing husband so full of life and adventure I feel like everyday is something new. I feel like since we have been married I have come more alive than ever - coming into all that God made me to be. It's fascinating what a covenant relationship looks like on earth, I can only imagine the depths of covenant relationship with God. 

Intimacy - In-to-me-see: I have seen/ heard this in multiple books and teachings. This is absolutely the truth. I think this applies not only to marriage but to relationship with God. Opening up and allowing all the good, bad, and ugly to be seen. I have noticed that this has been difficult for me with Wes. There are times when I just say "I'm fine" or "whatever" or "hmmm doesn't matter" when that is NOT at all what I'm feeling. I have really had to press in and open up this first year - and allow him to really see into me. I feel so silly sometimes with the things that "hurt my feelings" :), but it is important to be known. We were created to know and to be known. We were created for deep intimacy - not just with our spouse, but also with our creator. 

This year as I have gone deep with Wes, it has allowed me to go deep with God. I am so thankful for the hunk of man that I married. For him creating a safe place for me, and pulling me into new depths and new heights. He is a man to follow - that is for sure. I have never seen such character, respect, and honor. So here's to one glorious year, and for forever to come. I love you!

The Details.

So for Christmas Wes got me Finney! An adorable cockatiel. It is so sweet to come home every day and hear a sweet little tweet that sounds a lot like my "hi". Finney's head looks like a sunset and the rest of his body is the perfect balance of grey and white. He is like a tiny package of incredible detail - it amazes me the detail that God put into everything.  Growing up my mom always told me to look at my tear duct in my eye to see the details of the human body. It really is amazing. Looking at my tiny little bird alone is so inspiring to me. The details really count.

It seems like when I miss the details I miss out on something big. Whenever life seems fast paced and blurry there is a spark that gets dull, fast. My prayer, and my encouragement is that we would all notice the details, because it does go by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was walking around our house in Alabama with Buddy on my head (my bird from middle school), or I was changing Will's diaper (my brother that is now 17 yrs. old and a senior in highschool). So the goal is to cherish the details - look for the creator's touches. I think He did it so we would delight in it - so lets delight in his design.

Find details about you that you love - after all you were designed by the creator of the universe! If you critic the design you are critiquing the designer...consider this before you complain about your body, or hair, or eye color...etc. Not to be cliche or cheesy, but you are a detailed, unique design and He put a lot of thought into you.


"Psalm 139:13 - For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb."

Here are a few pictures of "the details" that I have collected from traveling/ just everyday life:

This is a flower from Uganda, Africa - its amazing... its glowing. I love the dark center that holds it together.

Finney bird, Wes's eye, weird leaf moth, and a flower from the middle east.